I feel something is missing in my life, i just cannot seem to find out. God what is this thing i am missing, i have this feeling of emptyness sometimes, lacking of something. God i thank you for the things you have done for this week, giving me a marksman to prove to platoon sergeant dovin i am not useless after all. I hate ppl say i am useless, i will show them what i am capable of. I am moving to a new platoon soon, somehow i will working with new ppl which is going to be an interesting experience. Am i a very english person God? Friends seem to think so i guess, maybe the way i speak or my skin colour or my accent. God i am losing myself recently, i am not being the usual quiet self i am. I am starting to obtain back my anger and rage from the course, this is bad i guess, but somehow it pushes me on. I get pissed more easily nowadays and i have the urge to scold someone much more easily. It is as though God is preparing my emotions for the pioneer course in March. I really feel like shouting all out, my emotions that are trapped inside of me.