Hmm..I guessed i have not recover yet. I decided not to go church today because i don wan to make myself feel worse. I realised i am not myself when i go church with her, i keep telling myself that i am changing but i realised i did not, i guess i am kinda pretension when i was with her, haiz, i don know why, i guess i did not accept yet bah. Well first i had a talk with Wee Kiat, my best friend, he can't gimme any help to understand but at least he gives me company which makes me feel better. Then i seek help from Merjahn, he asks me not to contact her anymore and forget about her. I guessed so, at least by doing that it makes me feel better. Next i manage to talk to Lay Koon, she is the one that helped me the most, i guess she is still the one that is always there when i need help. I always appreciate her help. She told me a lot of stuff which i realised kinda true, it is the mishandlement of the both of us that cause this relationship to fail. I realised that i thought my ex is kinda independent so well i didn't care much about her which prove me wrong. Lay Koon told me no matter how strong a girl is, she needs support and security in someway, i learn about it now though. She also ask me to go to her church, well i think i will once i recover, i will. I decided to change church, i decided to forget about her to lessen my pain. Maybe forgetting is the best way now, then i accept the fact, then i will recover. My army buddies are also very good to me, they will stand by my side to help me with this too. I appreciate it a lot. I guessed god is very nice to me to give me so many help when i am feeling lost.